This is a difficult conversation for most families. The elder likely wants to maintain her independence as long as she can and adult children or relatives are concerned about the person falling, having a stroke, leaving the stove on, etc.. Has the conversation ended badly when you’ve tried to talk about safety concerns? No one looks forward to having someone tell us we can no longer be independent. Here’s a few suggestions about how to make the conversation productive. Firstly, choose a time when both of you are rested, have eaten, and when you’re not rushed for time. Be gentle and firm when you start the conversation. It often helps to say something like “I don’t want to regret not talking with you about this.” or “I’m concerned that you might fall and not be able to reach the phone.” Share your concerns honestly and ask for your elder’s perspective about what she is scared about. Remember that people need time to think about changes, so the conversation may need to occur over months until the elder is ready. If you and other family members have tried having the conversation and it only ends badly, consider using a mediator to help focus on the key concerns of each person and ways to separate the problem from the personalities. Stay tuned for more tips soon.
Mediation
